March 17, 2014

a two person one

Marriage is weird. Isn't it? You become one, yet you are two. You are still you. But this you spends all of your time with this other person who makes this a we. Gettin' crazy just throwing pronouns around up in here! 

Freddie was out of town bachelor partying it up and our little two person bubble popped. 'Sploded. We have ridden the relationship train all the way to this point. Ya know, we started at the stop where you see each other maybe just on the weekends. Then we started the maybe once a week plus on the weekends stop. Eventually after I graduated college we started spending just about every evening together. Because he would feed me, you know. But then we got on the long distance train and that was just roses and butterflies, obviously (hint: not). After 6 months of that train we hit up the marriage stop. The stop where we spend all of our time with one another. You + Me = We and all that kind of stuff. 

We go out with friends.
We go grocery shopping.
We go out drinking on the weekends. 
We do this. We do that.
He cooks. I do laundry. Details.

We, we, we. 
What happens when it's just YOU again? What do you do?

Lemme be real honest. I was dreading this weekend. I was dreading it as if I was on the way to an eye doctor appointment (hey, I really hate eye drops. Okay). What was I going to do?! There are so many hours in the day! Especially on the weekend days! Who would fix me weekend waffles?! (That was obviously the biggest dilemma in this situation).

What did Emily used to do before Freddie?

And that's when my ruh-dic-ulous self realized. I'm still Emily. I'm still me/you/whatever. I don't have to remember how to do Emily things or how to be Emily because dat's me. Even when I am a we with Freddie, I'm still the me part of the we. Following along?

So yes, as I said before, marriage is weird. Weirdly hard. I truly believe it is so important to not get lost in your marriage, per say. To not stop being you. To not become one. GASP! Let's look at this equation again:

You + Me = We.

There would be no We without a You and a Me. Need 'em both therefore it can't be just one. 

And guess what? I did all the regular 'ole Emily things this weekend. I worked at an arts festival. I hosted a precious ballet birthday party for 8 four year olds. I went out to dinner with friends. I went to Target and spent money so I could save so much money with my Cartwheel app. Spending is saving! Wait... I went to my rehearsal. And after it all, I came home Sunday night, saw my Freddiefriendhusband and gave him a big 'ole kiss. 

Because even though I'm still me, I sure do love being the me to our we. 


Trina O'Neil said...

So totally relate. I hate it when my hubby is gone for just a day because I feel so lost without him. I sit and think of what I would do before him and it just didn't seem right. Going from You and Me to a You+Me= We is weird at times.

I loved the ending of your post...that was so sweet.

And So I Did said...

I love this! I also think it's so important to not get lost in your marriage. Recently we've had a couple evenings where I've found myself solo and had to remind myself that I ENJOY it! Haha! :) I'm always so happy when Jake comes home and we're back to a We, but it's definitely nice to have Me time so that I can keep bringing it to the equation. :)

Helene in Between said...

well isn't this the sweetest. i like doing my own thing, i do. but it is nice to be a we.

Kayla MKOY said...

It's definitely nice to be a WE but I love the tiimes when I can be ME at home for an evening alone. :) makes me remember to do and plan things I love!

Marriage is weird, but the best :)

Kelli Gilbert said...

oh my goodness--this is SO beautifully written. I love it!

Erin LFF said...

Love this post, friend! It's the best thing ever, being married and being a we. But I absolutely cherish my alone time or my time with the girls, because I'm still that person too! :)

Jenna Griffin said...

True words, girl! When Lamar went out of town for a bachelor party last fall, it was difficult at first. But then I remembered: I used to be alone most Saturday mornings not that long ago! So I picked myself up, went to the nearest coffee shop, and enjoyed some me time. It was lovely, but I was ready for him to get home the next day! :)

Courtney B said...

I never wanted to spend time away from my hubs but when he got a sudden job offer that meant we had to live away from each other for 2 months and only see each other on the weekends?! I didn't know how we were going to survive! But you're so right! I'm still me and we are still we even when we are apart! Spending those nights away from each other are the worst, but at the same time, they are kind of the best reminder!

Ashley said...

It really is so hard when they leave for a while. I used to be like that :) and then Noel started traveling for work...ahhh!! worst thing ever!...and even though I'm used to it now, it's still hard :(


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