April 13, 2017

famous last words

I'm going to the bathroom to read.

A party! Let's have a party!


I'm bored with it all.

Famous last words. If you Google famous last words you'll find some of ^these^ along with many, many others. If you stalk my blog, you'll quickly learn that I am a frequent famous last word-er. Not sure if there's a support group for us FLWs, but if so A) let me know which church basement I should be going to for this problem, and B) do they serve donuts?

A little over four years ago Freddie left Atlanta for Charleston and never really looked back. Well, he looked back long enough to grab me by my left ring finger and bring me with him marry me. Whenever we were asked if we'd move back to Atlanta or Georgia one day we'd always laugh and say Probably not! Because duh, we had lived in that area our entire lives. Come on, people asking questions, get it together! We wanted to explore, to travel, to be in our own bubble. So we did. We explored, we traveled, and we started building our own little Rick n' Em bubble.

side note: I used to babysit a boy who couldn't say bubbles so naturally instead he called them boobies. It was the greatest

Which is why right at two years ago when Freddie got the opportunity to work in Houston we said Yee-freaking-haw! and traded in our bathing suits for cowboy boots (uh, still my most favorite rhyme ever). Freddie never really looked back after that move either, but I sure as word-that-rhymes-with-bit did. Not living in the town of Chucks was a hard pill to swallow, but once Rodeo Rick and I experienced our first taste of Texas BBQ and watched our first round of Mutton Bustin', we were hooked on all things bigger and badder in the Lone Star State. Still we'd pretty frequently get asked when we were coming home or when we were moving back to the Peach State, and still we'd give people the oh puh-lease chuckle. No. Thank. You.

And now I present you with an intermission story of 
Freddie and Emily: Through The Years Of Moving
Blurry bar pic of Freddie's last night in Atlanta circa 2013
The freckled Lowcountry Weisses circa 2014
Texas Weisses with the addition of Lupe Tortilla Weiss (and his tongue) circa 2016

Being away from family is such a strange feeling. Some days it's nice to have distance and make whatever time you do have together that much more precious, but being away slowly started to feel more like a punishment. Why couldn't we get more than just quick holiday catch-ups with our families? Why, Delta flippin' airlines, do I have to pay $600+ for a plane ticket if I want to go see my family on a trip that wasn't planned 3-4 months in advance?

I remember when Atlanta and thoughts of the potential to live there again one day started creeping back into our heads. We'd casually mention it to each other, and then as if we knew we were saying something wrong we'd take it back.

But we always said we'd never go back! 
But it's Atlanta! 
But it's where we grew up. 
But there are so many other fun places.
But but but...

**It's important to note when I use the pronoun we that 85% of the time I am talking about me/I. I could be in a corner having anxiety attacks about going back on my word while Freddie would be sprawled out across the two patio chairs, beer or cocktail in hand, already having moved on and/or completely forgotten about whatever he said that may sound crazy. Let's all be more like Freddie.

Anyways, who's still with me at this point in the story? Mom? Dad? Good because here's the point of this long butt story:

Georgia or Bust, am I right? East coast, best coast?

We are moving back home! Back to Hotlanta. It's scary, stressful, super quick, but it's oh-so exciting! I hope you inserted your proper response of ::squealing:: right about ^^there! A job opportunity for Freddie came up, and next thing you know we were out champagne toasting Freddie accepting said job opportunity and us planning a move.

Houston was a big bleeping deal for us. We didn't have much money, stability, or even much of a support system when we moved here. It felt a lot like starting from scratch, but we did it. We figured it out. We spent a lot of time just the two of us. We made the best of friends. We budgeted. We found the coolest dog ever (our biggest accomplishment in life, thanks Reddit). We lived here. Here I'm using the verb live not in the yes-we-have-a-Houston-address way, but more in the we-got-through-the-sticky-times-and-created-the-party-times-here way. Because that's what living is really all about, right? Life shouldn't be all butterflies and rainbows, but it sure should be about finding the butterflies and the rainbows even on the cold, dreary days.

Ugh, I hate myself for that analogy. My b. Eye roll. 

I will finish by quoting the great T.I. feat. Rihanna, So live your life (Hey!) Go be, go do, just go. One of my close friends recently moved back home and although her move was for different reasons than ours she shared with me a simple, yett powerful sentence from one of her friends: You will never regret going home. 

So on that note...we're gonna go to Jawjuh!

February 27, 2017

on being distinguished

I have this note on my phone where I jot down just about any thought that comes in my head. The purpose of this habit is, of course, to use these genius ideas as blog posts one day. 

Will our future children be as cool as Lupe? I should blog about it, but obviously the answer is no.
Peanut butter&jelly + traffic. Not sure where I was going with this one, but obviously needs a post. 
0 and 5 years old + laughing. Kids? Laughing? That is nice. Needs a post. 
Changing name. Banana Hammock or maybe I meant last name? Who knows. Needs a post. 
Two types of people: like gasoline smell and don't. Right on, right on. Important stuff. Needs post. 

Wait! I need to stop giving away all my good potential blog material! 

^^But first, let's go back to that last idea up there. Seriously people, how can some of you like the smell of gasoline? My nostrils and I just do not understand this. Please explain. 

Moving on. 

I found a grey hair. Let me rephrase that, I found grey hairs. Plural. Emphasis on the ssssssss part of that word.
a sampling

side story: if you ever say, I am going to get my hair cut around my grandfather he will undoubtedly respond with You're only getting one of your hairs cut? Obviously the hilarity in our family is unreal. Wink. 

This whole grey hairs things kind of all happened fast. One morning after teaching I went to wash my hands. I looked up in the mirror, and my eye was drawn to this one rogue hair sticking up like Alfalfa. I pulled it out and went on with my day. But as I was showing Freddie later, I moved my part over farther than I normally do and wham bam thank ya old ma'am, there were so many little grey hairs just hanging out on my head. Like they'd been there forever. Like I'd lived on this Earth forever enough to have grey hair(s) grow.

Now I'm not freaking out, and I haven't scheduled a hair appointment to dye the bleep out of all my hairs, but I do find it amusing. I've never considered myself a distinguished person, but suddenly I'm viewing the world through my new grey hairs glasses. I feel taller. I feel cooler. I feel like I can hand out advice. I feel like I've lived. I feel like chuckling at the teenagers throwing candy at the movie theater instead of wanting to hurt them. I feel like sipping straight liquor and reminiscing on the good ol' days.

**it's important to note I only have found about 10 grey hairs, and yes, like always, I am exaggerating things. 

**it's also important to note I am not really feeling or doing any of those things. 

Anyways, now that I'm all distinguished and grey and stuff, I decided to cook dinner the other night. This really proves that I am a changed woman because I think I can count on one hand the number of times I've cooked dinner for us. And by one hand I mean three fingers. Don't even need a whole hand to do this math!


I'm not counting. Well, that's not true. I am counting. My grey hairs. Every time I stand and look in the mirror. One, two, three, four...

Along with being a changed woman and having gone grey (as they say!) (who says that?) (no one) and cooking dinner here are some other new tricks I've got up my sleeve:

  • Buying a new duvet cover and changing out bedding. Big things are happening here. 
  • Taking recycling to our old complex since our new complex doesn't recycle. 
  • Getting my master's in full time Pinterest planning of our upcoming Italy trip.
  • Teaching Pilates to children.
pondering the meaning of grey hair

I've always wanted to sleep with an older woman. -- Freddie on my grey hairs.
But I don't even have that many grey hairs! -- My mother. Thanks for giving me your genes, Dad.

And with that I'm over and out.

I'm glad we could both completely ignore the fact that I haven't posted in a million months. Or just two. But anyways, thanks for ignoring that! Wink. 

December 9, 2016

friday favorites: the all things tex-mas edition

Deck the blogs with lots of Christmas related posts
Fa La La La La La La Laaaaaaav-ly

If I could just read and write all things Christmas related blogs year-round then you could definitely count me in for the 5x-week posting type of blog gal. But since my following would drop from fifteen to about six I'll stick to just posting Christmas related things for the next five two weeks.
Favorite Christmas Song //
Picking just one would be too hard (okay fine, Silent Night), but I will tell you my Favorite This Is Not A Christmas Song song: My Favorite Things. Yes, the song from The Sound Of Music. And also yes, you are correct, The Sound Of Music is definitely not a Christmas movie. 

Why in the world did this song get on all the holiday stations? Is it because it talks about packages tied up with string? How did the put-on-holiday-playlists people know that this is a Christmas package that the song is talking about? They don't. You don't. We don't. No one knows that. For all we know they are talking about a birthday package. Or a graduation package. Or a hey-it's-a-Tuesday-so-enjoy-this-package-tied-up-with-string package. 

Favorite Christmas Tree //
Forever and always the giant tree my family gets every year (pic above, duhz). God bless weird Brady Bunch looking houses with tall ceilings. Tall ceilings = taller Christmas trees. 

Favorite Santa //
Oooooh, another hard one. If you were to ask Freddie this question he would say the Billy Bob Thornton Santa from Bad Santa. That makes me want to cry and not associate myself with Freddie anymore so for the sake of my marriage we will A) not ask Freddie this question and B) go with either the Santa who gives Kevin Tic-Tacs in Home Alone OR Tim Allen from The Santa Clause. But only once he's fattened up and orders a sundae at his work lunch meeting. 

Favorite Ridiculously Wonderful Christmas Song //
I worked at Gap for a holiday season, and this ^^ song would play all. the. time. It's my Christmas jam for sure. Listen to it once and I promise (with the strength of at least fifty pinkies) that you'll never forget it. 

Favorite Christmas Vacation Moment //
This is the part of the post where I admit that I never watched Christmas Vacation growing up. Never. Freddie views this movie as kind of a rite of passage into the holiday season meaning it's not Christmas until you've watched Christmas Vacation at least three to four times. Needless to say I've seen it a lot. Probably just as much if not more than I would have seen it if I had actually grown up watching it. This all leads me to my point---my favorite part(s) of that movie are any and all parts in which Uncle Eddie gets to talk. 

The End. 

Happy Christmas-y Friday!
Linking up with Karli and Amanda

December 7, 2016

a very, merry christmas apartment

It's that time of year again. The time of year when we Texans go Christmas tree shopping...while wearing shorts and flip flops. So yes, it IS the most wonderful time of the year because the cold sucks, and Texas is not cold. Ten points for Team Texas.

^^did I really just call ourselves Texans?! Big gasp on that one. 

As all normal human beings do, we turned up the Christmas style in the apartment the day after Thanksgiving. Excuse me, we got turnt on Christmas decor <<<isn't that what the cool kids say these days? Should I Urban Dictionary turnt before adding it into a post? We're really big on the $30 live Christmas trees from the Kroger parking lot. Like really big into that. It's kind of our thing, and one day when we live in a real house and not an apartment I'm kind of hoping the sweet Kroger parking lot Christmas tree men let us get one of the 12-foot trees for $30, too.

A girl can dream.
spoiler alert: this year's $30 tree was definitely under 12 feet. 

If I've learned anything from being married to Freddie it's that fir Christmas trees are not acceptable. Every year we go through the same thing. Rick wants to get our tree from the Kroger parking lot. Rick doesn't want a fir tree. Rick forgets that almost no one has pine Christmas trees anymore. Rick can't make up his mind about what to do. Rick takes a long time deciding what to do. Rick gets lucky and finds a couple random pine trees in the mix. Rick wins. Fast forward 365 days and repeat all over again.

I digress. This post is supposed to be all about be opening our home to you so you can judge our Christmas decor, and not about my husband's weird affinity for pine Christmas trees. So without further words ado, welcome to our Christmas home!
Oh what's that? I need more Christmas stuff on this wall? I agree. 
I don't know why it's taken me so many years to throw ornaments in all the bowls around the house, but I'm an ornaments-in-bowl convert. 
There are few things in life more peaceful than twinkly Christmas lights.
Well, a present with a bow tie under the twinkly lit tree is also peaceful.
 Yes, Sparkle Santa and Google Home are very happy together. Thanks for asking. Ten days and going strong. #newrelationship
Aaaaaaaand that's about it other than little bitty odds and ends on all the shelves. Literally all of the shelves. We're leaving for Georgia in one week so we kept the Christmas decor vom down to a minimum this year, and I am a-okay with that because Christmas in Georgia with the fan dam is all I need. 

Also we're working on getting Lupe antlers like Max so don't even worry. 

This dream can soon become a reality. 

How do you decorate for the big day?!

Christmases past:

December 2, 2016

a very, merry, sticky christmas

Every Christmas I run into the same exact problems.

Do I make my own gift tags or buy the cute ones at Target?
Do I buy the cute tags or buy the almost-as-cute $1 ones at Target?
Do I pay extra and get our return address printed on our Christmas card envelopes?
Do I pay to buy an oh-so-trendy handmade stamp for our Christmas card envelopes?
Do I send Christmas cards this year?
^^^HA, big fat JK on that one. Of course we have to send Christmas cards this year and every year. Wink. 

A-n-y-w-a-y-s, I'm sure you all completely understand my first world Christmas problems, and I'm sure together we can overcome such trials and tribulations.

Enter StickerApp. They help people like us overcome holiday panic! There's more time to trim the tree when you're spending less time hyperventilating the holidays (no? too far with the alliteration?).

When StickerApp contacted me about customizing my own stickers I A) said YES (in bold, italics, and caps lock, obvi) and B) knew this was my answer to all problems gift tag and Christmas card envelope related. Basically StickerApp was my Come to Jesus moment, and I'm so glad I saw the light.

Now for those of you who are also like me in that you have online designed a lot of photo books that sit collecting dust on your shelves, then you're in luck because designing custom stickers was a lot like designing photo books. Read easy and fun. One photo upload here, one resizing there, add in a text box or two, move everything around twenty times before you're satisfied, and voi-freaking-la you have a masterpiece.

I made these ^^^ stickers to use as envelope seals for our Christmas cards because who doesn't love a chance to quote Home Alone?! Spoiler for anyone reading this who is going to get a Christmas card this year.
And then because I was having too much fun procrastinating work by designing stickers I decided to add in some small gift stickers to the mix. Let's just say this Christmas is going to be off the charts trendy.

And that's the story of how stickers changed my Christmas game for the better. Have you tried StickerApp yet?!

I received products for my honest review, but I mean, come on, these stickers make my presents and envelopes look like the cool kids in high school. 


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