March 29, 2013

a march-mas carol

Much like A Christmas Carol, tonight today you will be visited by three ghosts. The Ghost of March Past, the Ghost of March Present, and the Ghost of March Future. And by ghosts, I mean three points in this post that highlight some favorites from the month. 

Therefore, this is A March-mas Carol. So, come in! And know me better, man!
Anyone grow up watching A Muppet's Christmas Carol as much as this girl?

 Favorite of March Past
I was going to do some bad editing and put my face on Michael Caine's face. You're welcome for leaving it this way. 

March was a month that I felt like put its arm around me and said, Dontchu worry, child. No matter how many times you lock your keys in the car and screw up this month, I'll still be here for ya. (Is that too specific of a thing for a month to say? Nah). In fear of sounding like a broken record (Heeeey! Look at me! I performed in Spamalot this month! Haveyaheard?!). I'll just post a picture from my favorite of March past.

Heeey! Look at me! I was in a performance recently! This is breaking news!

Favorite of March Present

Presently, I am enjoying a lovely baguette that one of my student's moms gave me yesterday after class.  Why did she give me a baguette? Not sure. How did she know I could eat bread and bread only for every meal? Not sure. But I am sure glad she gave it to me because it. is. delicious. Perks of being a dance teacher? Getting baguettes. Doesn't that make you all want to become dance teachers?

And because I refuse to take a selfsies with bread, I will leave you with this...
Marie! The baguettes! Hurry up! A.k.a--what Emily will look like after 20 years of carbs carbs carbs.

Most Likely Favorite of March Future
Congratulations, Charleston! You are a lot less gloomy looking than the Ghost of Christmas Future and since you are my March-mas Future you win this photo op.

Das right, tomorrow morning I am headed to the Great and Powerful Oz C-town to spend Easter with the Freddiefriend. I've been nurturing and preparing my stomach for a week now so I am excited to eat the best. foods. ever. like these things...
#4 is the most important of the bunch: Truffle Mac and Cheese. Otherwise known as my choice for my every supper leading up to my last supper, and my last supper. Got it?

And excited to drive across and by these places...

But most importantly, excited to spend lots of lots of time (meaning 3 days. Thanks a lot, long distance. *Hair flip*) with this Hunk of Burnin' Love.
Anyone tired of seeing this picture of FF? Because I'm sure not. Swoon.

There you have it. March Madness erm, I mean A March-mas Carol. I'll leave you with some pictures of Easter Pasts.

Okay, okay. I'll stop now.
Happy Almost April!

Thanks to Ashley for coming up with a great Favorite Things link up!  

March 28, 2013

throwin' it back

Thank for Lord for link-ups and pre-named days like Throwback Thursday because otherwise I'd have absolutely no luck coming up with blogging ideas and you would all read about that one time my mom's dogs played with wrapping paper cardboard like it was a giant bone.

Seriously though, that was funny. 
Anyone? Anyone? Funny.

For those of you not in the know, a.k.a. not sitting by your computer waiting for my blog updates, I recently performed in a local production of Spamalot. And it was a huge messy ball of f-u-n. It's almost been a year since I had been onstage, and for a leotard and tights wearin' girl who's been doing plies onstage for 20 years, 11 months of not performing is like 11 months of not eating.

Too dramatic? Okay, it's like 11 months of not eating bread and cheese. Which is crazy! Because what other food items could you possibly ever need?! A meal isn't a meal unless you've got some bread. My best friend, Carbs, and I like to have daily hangouts. 

Anyways, you get the picture. I was very happy to perform again. And now here we are, 4 days after the closing show, and I am feeling like I need to wear all black and go into mourning. And wearing black is a big change from my usual daily grey outfits.

In honor of this Throwback Thursday and of the end of my stage return (yes, I really am this super famous performer you've never heard of...), I will share my most favorite role I have ever danced. 

Drumroll, please.

Was it Sugar Plum Fairy?
via Keiko Guest

Was it performing Paquita?  

No and no.

It was...

Humpty freakin' Dumpty
That's right folks. I sat on a wall and had a great fall all with an inner tube inside my costume. And it was great. 

For kicks and giggles and other fun things, we did a Mother Goose ballet when I was in high school. We had Three Blind Mice, The Girl with the Curl (right in the middle of her forehead), Nimble Jack, the moon jumping Cow, and all of your other favorites. Including, good 'ole HD. 

These pictures are so old they could be vintage. I mean, hello RAZR phone with a camera, why are you still not cool after 10 years?!

Me with my homies, Little Miss Muffet, Along Came a Spider That Sat Down Beside Her, and the famous Mother Goose herself. 

Ever danced in an inner tube before? Make that your summer goal because it's way more fun than dancing in arm floaties. 

Throwback Thursday and Embarrassing Picture Post, over and out. 

March 25, 2013

on being spontaneous

I'm not a spontaneous person at all. I like events and other activities to be scheduled and written in my planner and iCal for weeks in advance. Hey, my name is Anal-imy. Erm, I mean, Emily. But this weekend, boy oh boy, this weekend we got crazy and spontaneous-y. 

For instance, my planner did not have "get a tattoo" written in for Saturday afternoon. Yet, somehow that is exactly what happened on my Saturday afternoon. (Dad, if you're reading this, you can stop now. Or you can stop after that first paragraph up there---reeewind). 

Thursday night, my mom and I got it into our heads that we needed white tattoos. This was important. I said it was a need, people. Thank ya, Pinterest, for your pretty white tat pictures as inspiration. So Friday came and went and I taught as a per usual planned Friday, but Saturday we were like Buh-bye Plan-ny Nancy, let's get our tats on. 

My mother is a warrior. Seriously, that woman could have lived back in the Game of Thrones time when they amputated limbs without any medicine. She would have just sat there, watched and maybe yawned like this is sooo boring. So, MC gets her tat, sits there smiling and talking, and then it is my turn in the hot seat.
This is MC making a face to be funny. Sure, that's why I was making faces too. Wink wink.

Dun dun dun.
Now, I considered myself to be a tattoo warrior. This is my third tattoo. My second tattoo was on my ribs and that was painful, but bearable. No pain, no gain. Pain is weakness leaving the body. Yadda yadda yadda. I thought, Wrist schmist. Gimme your worst, tattoo boy, because I have a freakin' rib tattoo. 

And Holy Creator of Wrist Tendons, that baby wrist tattoo sucked the bravery right outta me and put my rib tattoo to shame. My little ballerina that lives on my ribs bowed her head in shame and I contorted my face in pain. 

Ow ow ow ow ow. 

Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. Would I make a 5 year old "Mommy, I got a boo boo" face? In a heartbeat. 

Now that y'all read all of that nonsense I'm sure you're like, Can we see this bad boy that turned you into a BABY?!
Don't you worry your pretty little selves. The white will look a lot cooler when my skin isn't so mad and irritated with me. Right? Right?

No, it is not a Dharma Wheel. Well, maybe it is to you. To me, it is in memory of my grandmother who once told me that "Every time the wheels go 'round we get that much closer." Yes, she was talking about getting closer to the hospital to see my newborn baby sistah girl. But now, looking at life and the funks in which I find myself lately or the anxiety I give myself about not knowing what the next few months will bring, I like to think of that saying as the wheels carrying me on. Carrying me away from the hard weeks and towards the good weeks. I wrote about her unexpected death last August here. She was a pretty fabulous lady and, funny enough, could have cared less for tattoos. The whole time I was writhing in pain I was thinking, You don't even like tattoos, Miss Momma!

Still worth it. 

Will I miss spontaneous tattoo trips when I go back to being a grown-up and living in my house in Atlanta now that performing in Spamalot is over? In a heartbeat. 
This is me and Ann bidding Spamalot farewell. Cry face.
So, free time...what do I do with you again?

Happy Monday, y'all.

March 22, 2013

funky friday

Today in class blog land we will be going over ways to creep out of the funky hole of funkalicious funk in which you might one day find yourself. 

I am currently in this funky place. It involves things like a fender bender, locking my keys in the car 2x in one week, and then locking my purse, phone, keys, and teaching stuff in the car right before teaching classes, grumpily talking to FF on the phone, blah blah blah. You get it. You've all been there. One of my student's moms told me to just wait until the day I lock my kids in the car.

Momma say what? I could have locked children in the car 3x in 2 weeks instead of keys? So I guess that makes it a little better? Maybe? No?

Regardless, let's focus on the creeping out of funky town instead of what is getting on down in funky town. 
Like me feeling like this:

Emily's Two Step No Fail Getting Outta Funk Program:

eShakti recently contacted me about reviewing some of their products. I had heard of them from Alycia's blog and knew right away my answer was, YES MA'AM

eShakti is this wonderful magical website where women can customize the clothes that they like. Yes, customize. Remember how we are all shaped completely differently? And one day I wear a size such and such from Store #1 and the same day I have to get a size more and more from a different store? 

eShakti woke up one day and thought Let's make the most glorious clothing website in all the land! And so it was done. 

Here is how it works: You pick your item of choice, you customize the length of the shirt or dress, the sleeves, and the size, and it gets shipped to your door.

And then you get to show off your custom fitted, beautiful little outfit to all those girls walking into the alteration store! (I mean, I never actually make it to that stage...the clothes that don't fit usually end up in a pile. Lazy). 

Something to note: my eyeshadow cleavage from last night's show is still on. I told y'all not to try this at home. It's serious.

I picked a shirt that was originally strapless. Since my chest area doesn't have mountains (get the picture?) strapless stuff just does not work, so I added straps. I also have the world's longest torso and legs and hate when shirts are too short. Which they always are. eShakti solved that problem because I could chose the length of the shirt. Done and done. I can't wait for get something springy and wonderful and custom-y. You should too!

The next step of my program is so simple. Getcha self a blog makeover by the wonderful Erin. Maybe you've been so wrapped up in the wonderful yet interesting writings that you haven't noticed my new bloggy look! Go look! Stop, reading this now and look!

Did you look? Erin was so easy to work with and I love how she took what I was dreaming up in my head and made it happen. A million thank ya's to you, Erin!

Are you feeling funky? Because these things will surely get you free from the funk. 
Friday, I love you. eShakti and Erin, it's obvious all good things start with an "E."
People, sorry there are so many words in this post and so few pictures.
The end. 

March 19, 2013

i was born a ramblin' travelin' man/girl

Helene recently started this Travel Tuesday link-up. At first, I was like, Yes! More topics about which to blog?! How fun. Then I become more like, Wait, where have I traveled? What do I pick? Do I even have pictures of that? A.k.a.--I became LAZY and full of non-blogging excuses. It happens to the best of us.

Where have I traveled? Well, I've actually been quite a few places. I'm not a world traveler, by any means, and I have only gone about as far West as Louisiana, if that "counts" as being West. (it totally does to this East Coast girl). I have been up and down and all around the East and East Coast. I've even been to Niagara Falls and watched some water fall which was pretty amazing. I've also gone on a 6 country European trip, but that was a school trip so I am still deciding how to spin that one into a fun post...

The point is traveling is fun and I would love to do it more often. Possibly even venturing out to the scary western worlds past Louisiana this time.

If you have been reading my blog for awhile then you know my brother works at Disney World and has been working there for 6 years. That sentence should really read I am the luckiest sister in the world. My best friend works there, as well. Let's pretend that you all think Disney is such a cool place to visit, no matter what your age. Because it is and if you think otherwise then who are you?!

My family and friends and Freddie have been to Disney way too many times in the past 6 years. Like, once we tried counting how many times we have been and stopped once we got to the twenties.

I was going to be like Nooo, we are so not that crazy Disney family. But I really don't think I can say that right now without you rolling your eyes. It's true. We're only that half crazy family who happens to enjoy going to Disney because it's fun and magical and we get in for free. So, THERE.

Now I will stop trying to make you believe that Disney really is magical and you should go a few twenty times and just let you look the most glorious 6 year Disney photo dump in all the blog lands.

Brownie points for anyone who can correctly guess what my brother's job is at Disney :) And Emily brownie points are kind of a hot commodity...

These are pictures from my first 5k, the many parades we have seen (and been part of!), the meet and greets, the first time Freds came, the first time Freddie's family came, the tenth anniversary with my wonderful best friend, and so on and so forth. I feel like this is looking at baby pictures. We look so young. Ahh, 2007 why you so long ago? Thank goodness it is 2013 and drinking around Epcot is now a do-able thing.

Sorry I used only about 16 out of the 40 pictures I compiled. Buuuut, I think you kind of get the idea. Disney is really magical and go tell your brother to get a job there too.

Helene in Between

March 18, 2013


Let me start this post off with an apology. Dear blog world and Instagram followers, please forgive me for my overgramming and overposting and oversharing about performing in Spamalot. I realize your interest in this topic is zero to none, especially since 99% of you live nowhere near me and cannot come see the show (what a shame!?!).

If you enjoy a good 'ole Spamalotgram every now and then, follow me on Instagram and I will make all your dreams come true.

Maybe that sounded too raunchy?

With that being said, I will now share my weekend shenanigans through some photonanigans. I would add some interesting writings, but...a) you are all picture skimmers. Admit it. and b) I am exhausted and I think I still have eyeshadow cleavage drawn on my chest so a shower is more important than blog ramblings.

Literally, my entire weekend was a performance and then another performance and then another performance and then 2 more performances, so no, I do not have any non-performance related pictures.

1- Too much fun with wigs. Who knew Justin Bieber wigs would look so great on us? I mean, really.
2- Remember when I said wigs were fun? Point made.
3- Ann showcasing an important message on her little bum.
4- If the Newnan Times Herald was the New York Times, I'd be famous. Anyone want an autograph? 
5- Backstage brides.
6- A cast that goes to Taco Mac together stays together. Or something or other. Thanks, Newnan, for having one restaurant open late. 
7- Channeling Dolly Parton. I mean, Texas. I mean, my hair doesn't like to be in braids and not be washed all weekend.
8- We have a lot of costume changes. 
9- Unclear to why this picture is on my phone, but enjoy

Now, I've glitter bombed every article of real clothing I have worn in the past 72 hours and FYI, eyeshadow cleavage is hard to get off. Don't try this at home, kids.

Did you wash your hair this weekend? Err, and do other fun things?

March 15, 2013

remember me?

And no I am not talking about that horrible Robert Pattinson movie. I will remember not to remember that movie. Make sense? Didn't think so.

I'm talking about ME! Remember me? This blog? Ringing a bell? Didn't think so. I have been more MIA than MIA herself and that is a hard feat. This week has been the craziest week of the year which doesn't sound like much since it is only March, but honey child, it was the dooziest, funkiest week and I am bidding it adieu with a big 'ole wave of my hand. 

BYE. See you never, alligator. 

Things that will be amazing this weekend:
70 degrees and sunny.

My mom used to always say she loved laying out when she could feel the sun warming her bones. I want that right now. I feel like I spent the winter shriveled up shivering like raisin in the snow. And yes, raisins do shiver in the snow. I cannot wait to feel that sun warming my bones. 

And now, may I present, a quick picture recap of that week I was talking about:
This is a picture of me being late to the show in which I am performing. Thanks, Atlanta traffic.

My biffle wiffle's momma came to see our show. Everybody throw your hands up, we excited.

If you've ever seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail, then you know this is Herbert. Glittery and fabulous.

Chiquita Bananas and stuff. Come see our show!
Shameless plug. 

Not pictured: tears, stress, more tears, and more stress. 

Weekend, I love you. Please lurve me too. 

March 11, 2013

r kelly and e moore: weekend edition

R. Kelly was wrong when it came to a lot of things in his life, bless his heart. But he was sure right when he said, It's the freakin' weekend baby, I'm about to have me some fun. And by right I mean, those lyrics are all that play through my head starting at about 6 pm every Friday evening. 

There's a reason that that song doesn't say, It is freakin' Monday baby, I'm about to have me some fun.
Except maybe it should go like that because Mondays are made a lot more fun by getting to post about our fun shenanis and relive them, right? (anyone else liking that shenanigan nickname? no?)

Do you ever wish sometimes you could read your blogs out loud to everyone, like audioblogbooks? Because my posts would be soooo much funnier if you could hear the inflections in my head voice as I type. Then you'd be like Oh crap, now I get those weird jokes!

And now you are all thinking about how glad you are that I don't create my posts in audioblogbook form!

Moving on. Yesterday was the first delightfully and deliciously warm sunny day of the year. And I welcomed it with a short sleeve shirt and an extra swipe of deodorant (you are welcome). My nose also welcomed the sun by saying Hey! Burn me! Over here! And the sun graciously obliged. 
Okay, it doesn't look so bad here. Here it just looks like my blush brush accidentally swiped across my nose a few times. False. That did not actually happen. Who doesn't love a good 'ole awkward selfsies every now and then? Mona Lisa, that's who. 

Now I'm going to fast forward and talk about my future weekend shenanigans because I can time travel like that. 

Once Upon a Time I missed performing like whoa. So instead of just helping choreograph a show, I decided to also dance in it. Cue this coming weekend.
If you, like my high school self, watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail because it was the cool and different thing to do, of if you, like most people whether they admit it or not, like fart jokes, then this would probably be your favorite show ever. Is that too many if's? Nah. My fellow dancing gals and I have about 12 costumes changes. All of which involve sparkles, more sparkles, and very little fabric.

And what better way to end a blog post than with just one more crappy phone picture? I can't possibly think of a better ending, so Merry Christmas. Enjoy looking at the 6 inches of our ripped stomachs. Trust me, the blur of the phone quality picture is the reason the 6 packs are not more apparent.


March 6, 2013

on mediocracy

I am the worst when it comes to thinking of blog post topics. If somebody gives me a link-up and tells me some kind of category about which to write, then usually I can throw something out there. However, when it comes to me thinking of things we end up with...

starting paragraphs like that one up there. ^^^ Maybe I should live by the idea that having mediocre posts is totally okay and readers love you and your blog no matter what you post. But I currently live by the idea that every post should be epic and hilarious and noteworthy. Basically, every post should have you lol-ing (rofl-ing preferably).  

What? That's not crazy at all!

But today, today is already halfway over and it's Wednesday and I have no topic and a rambling topic-less beginning paragraph, so hello, Mediocracy, take a seat and stay awhile.

A mediocre post consists of things that are currently on my mind, but that you may or may not (and probably the may not choice) care about. Like every time I delete e-mails in my Spam folder there are several from a Big Willy and I think Ew, every single darn time. 

Or how it is only week 3 of doing this long distance thang with Freddie and I'm having about as much fun as a nekkid game of 52 card pickup in the snow. And I've seen him every weekend. Am I pathetic much? Probs. Long hair, don't care. 

It doesn't help when I get pictures like this:
Hey, Charleston. You are purdy. 

Also, yesterday was our anniversary. I posted this picture on good 'ole Facebook and whaddaya know? It got more likes than that pretty beach picture up there. Geez louise, so this is what middle school girls feel like when they get a lot of "like" notifications on FB?! I'm glowing and giggly. 

The point is...what? The point is that yesterday instead of drawing on thick-as-a-crayon black eyeliner and listening to sad music, I tried to add "2" into all conversations in celebration of 2 years with the FF. The point is that it is March in Atlanta and instead of playing outside in the parks for fun, I am taking steaming hot showers for fun since it is so cold outside. 

The point is that Wednesday mediocracy is just a-okay.

March 4, 2013

when you were young

Because it is Monday and because I am linking up with Sami and weekend shenanigans, I suppose to will tell you some about my weekend. 

Side note: I used to have this huge background on my computer that said "Let's Have a Shindig." I don't know why I thought it was so cool, but I mean, it was so whatever. Anyways, I'm not sure what the difference between a shindig and a shenanigan is, but either way they are both words that should be used in every day vocabulary a lot more often. Side note out.

The bad news is I got about zero pictures from my weekend. I helped Freddie move everything out of his Atlanta house. He then drove back to Charleston and moved it into his house there. So picture an empty room and a sad Emily. It snowed a liiiiil bit. Picture tiny white things in the air and Atlantan people jumping up and down. 

But then something great happened. A shenanigan worth mentioning. Ann has to make a senior slideshow for her graduation in May. She spent most of yesterday going through old photo albums of the fam dam and lemme tell you, throwback Sunday afternoon is a lot more fun than throwback Thursday. I realized several very important facts yesterday as I looked through pictures of young Emily.

I guess I began the whole mouth open smile at a young age. Who knew an 8 year old could start such a big trend?!
so. trendy. 

There is story behind this picture which I know you are all glad to hear otherwise it is like whoaaaa, Emily you were/are super weird. But the story is long and I'll just let you sit and take a minute to soak in this golden gem of a picture and think whatever you want about it. And...go.

This picture just shows that maybe I shouldn't get so frustrated when my 6 year old ballerinas can't seem to turn out their little feet while in releve. Teacher Emily would have been all over ballerina Emily's case about that one. 

And now it is Monday and my shenanigans will be a lot less exciting. The End.


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