Raise your hand if you ever blog stalk yourself.
(I should see lots of virtual hands raised in the air like ya just don't care).
I came across a VIP (very important post) recently when I was blog stalking myself where I talked about how I can't dress or put makeup on myself worth a flip. That post is 1.5 years old so I thought, Shucks, y'all! Time for a li'l update! Actually what I really thought was, Heeeey, blog post topic about which no one cares.
Official update: I still can't do makeup. I still can't do hair. I still can't dress myself. Whoever said change is inevitable obviously never met the fashion skills portion of my brain. (i.e.: I have no fashion skills portion of my brain).
ONE | Rompers. Wait, what did I just say?! Shut up. I know. I knooooow. I shouldn't want a romper, but I kinda do and I don't care who knows it. Except...don't tell my sister, she'll make fun of me. Everyone can know but her. Do I want a romper? Yes. Can my size ten-year old upper body and size you-just-birthed-a-baby lower body pull it off? No.
TWO | Beachy Waves. I WANT LUXURIOUS/WAVY HAIR. I want it! I want to wake up with waves! Not ponytail holder creases. Listen, I straight up used every product in the state of Connecticut to curl my hair for the wedding two weekends ago. In the middle picture you will see my hair after ten minutes of the product explosion and curling. In the right picture you will see my hair thirty minutes after. What even. Tears in my eyes.
THREE | High Heels. How do people just casually wear them? I mean, I'm not only talking comfort level here. I'm just talking legitimately basic how do you wear them with regular clothes level? I either get four plus blisters per hour and feel like a giant or I just feel like a freaking giant! Win-win (lose-lose)! Heels make me over six feet tall and shoot, that's practically Andre The Giant height (minus a foot or so). So do I just bend my knees when I wear them? Actually scratch that. Tall people just got that show on TLC so I need to wear some actual platform heels and/or stilts and find the film crew. Done.
FOUR | Lipstick. Bright, in-your-face lipstick, at that. 1) How does one pull of this look? and 2) How does one get lipstick to stay put? Similar to the length of time my hair stays curled, lipstick literally jumps off of my lips. One minute I'm applying it and looking in the mirror, seeing it on my lips. The next minute I'm blinking and looking in the mirror post-blink, and my lips are naked. Life is full of mysteries, people.
FIVE | Half Up Top Knots. Not gonna lie, I've rocked (term used loosely here) this halfsies top knot several times since I chopped off my hair last month. I want to rock this trend and not have to use the term 'rock' loosely. Send help.
Linking up with Karli.