May 21, 2013

i whip my tassel back and forth

In yesterday's post I mentioned that my sister graduated from high school this past weekend. Mentioned being the key word. You see, Ann's graduation wasn't just any high school graduation. It was a homeschool group graduation.

A.k.a.-it was a graduation ceremony worthy of its own blog post. 
Dun dun dun. 

Let's start with the graduation rehearsal that was scheduled for 8:30 the morning before. 8:30, not too early, right? Wrong. Your public schooling booty was up and at 'em at 8:30 in the morning, but little homeschool booties are still smilin' and dreamin' away at 8:30 AM. Dreaming about how they can stay in bed and continue to dream for hours before starting their school work. Ann Moore was not impressed.

But let's not get all caught up in wake up times and zzzz-ing. Let's fast forward to the ceremony. 

I've been to many a high school graduation in my time. And yes, I sound like an old lady reminiscing on the good 'ole days. (ps-I skipped my high school graduation. Do I get some cool points for that? Yes). In my experience, high school graduations are about as fun as pouring lemon juice on a paper cut. Not. Fun. Lots of talking, lots of reading 300+ names, and, as I've seen and heard, lots of singing Miley Cyrus songs like The Climb. I guess it's an inspirational song? Or something.

Not gonna lie. I was singing along at that graduation. You sing it, Miley girl.

The point is...
The point is that graduations are boring. They just are. I was so excited at my college graduation, but it was still boring. 
Ann's graduation just had a lot of odds stacked against it. A) it was a graduation. B) it was a homeschool graduation. C) some other odds I can't think of right now.
Mr. Dids had plenty of time to discover a new "pocket" for his program. He wasn't bored at all.

The redeeming factor? (or so I thought...) There were only 20 kids in her class. 20? Chyeah! In a public high school graduation ceremony, reading 20 kid's names and giving diplomas would take about 10 minutes. Short and sweet and short and stuff. 

In a homeschool graduation ceremony, 20 kids equals 2 hours. 

Watch and learn, you soon-to-be homeschool converts because who doesn't love 2 hour long graduation ceremonies for 20 kids? And who doesn't love run-on sentences?!

Sistah Bear being all grown up with a tassel. Das right. 

#1- You have a personal slideshow for each kid. 
Slideshows are fun to watch, you know you agree. In all of my education classes in college we learned techniques about how to teach in ways that best suited each different learning style you would find in a classroom setting. Visual learners love a good slideshow. Especially a slideshow that is 2 minutes long and put to classic music such as Coldplay and Chicken Techno (apparently that's like a genre now or something? Kids these days. [Hair flip]).

#2- You have parents pre-record a "blessing" that is played while they stand on stage with their child.
Cute idea, in theory. Awkward idea, in reality. Picture this: a young graduate standing center stage with mom on one side and daddy-o on the other. Suddenly, a booming voice comes through the speakers. It is Dad, yet his mouth is not moving. Oh, hello technology, pre-recording is cool, right? Ehhh. Some parents cried as their voices from 2 months past gave their child advice on life. Some parents nodded along like "Heck yes! Another good point made by moi! Touche!" Some parents stood their emotionless. I sat there wriggling and popping my knuckles, feeling awkward until my parents got up there and the tone went from Living a Christian Life to Top 10 Reasons We Love Ann. And you betta believe that #8 was that her hair is great. Who can deny that??
Thanks for the blurry picture, iPhone! Love ya. 

#3- You have the "class clown" sit front and center for the audience's entertainment.
We will call this dude, Distracting Don. Don was the first graduate due to his beginning-of-the-alphabet-lettered last name. Don thought the tassel was the best toy he had ever gotten. He must have never had long hair because the enjoyment he seemed to get by shaking his head so that the tassel would shake was so great. I sat there watching him chew on the string, twist it around his finger, and shake it so hard that it would hit his face repeatedly. Straight up entertainment for hours, I tell ya! Go buy a tassel right now! (And put it on your head, not your nips). You will never need the entertainment of TV or games again. 

By the way, thanks Donald, for the cool blog title. I owe you one. 

I hope you learned something today. Like, bring candy to the next graduation ceremony you go to or start selling concessions on your own. You'll make bank.  I would have bought some Buncha Crunch from you for this experience. 

Okay okay, I'll admit it. It was sweet. I smiled like my mouth was glued in a grin every time a precious baby picture came on the screen. I even nodded my head along with the parents who decided to rap their blessing. And you better believe I got teary eyed when Ann Moore's name was called. Stop growing up so fast, Baby Gurl! what I almost stood up and screamed/sobbed. 

The point is...
The point is that graduations are big milestones. And celebrating them, no matter how short long, is worth it.

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