May 11, 2016

when the bleep hits the fan. and your head.

Yesterday morning when I was walking Lupe, a bird pooped on my head.

And you know, it's not even that the bird pooped on my head that irks me. It's the fact that it had just finished raining, so I assumed the said drop on my head was a rain drop. I then proceeded to continue to walk Lupe, say hello to all the lovely neighbors of mine also walking their dogs, and get to the elevator before I went up to tuck my hair behind my ear, and I realized that what came off of my hair and onto my hand was not a raindrop. Oh no, it was a bird drop...ping.
This candid, but not at all candid blogger hair tuck pose looks a lot better when it's bird poop-less.

You know when you finish eating and continue to have a grand ol' time with your friends, then you look in a mirror anywhere from one to five hours later, and you realize you've had lunch in your teeth ever since. Then goes the conversation of WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME I HAD FOOD IN MY TEETH?! Then you break up with your friends because that is unforgivable. Just kidding. But seriously, why don't we just tell one another?! Not telling is forgivable (sigh, I guess), but the people who claim they didn't tell you because they didn't notice---?! That's what is unforgivable. Who doesn't notice green in the teeth of the people to whom they are talking? Even ventriloquists show their teeth when they are talking-but-not-talking. Come on, people! Of course you saw! Everybody shows their teeth when they are talking/laughing/thinking they are having a good time with their honest friends.

Because if society could just make it the norm for us to tell one another when we have food in our teeth then I'M SURE the next step to societal normalcy would be for people to tell me when the heck I have bird poop in my hair. Thanks for nothing, the three neighbors I passed on the sidewalk. You know who you are. You also don't know who I am, and don't read my blog so... 

Anyways, in case you were wondering, I washed my hair and have since managed to heal from this tragedy. Physically heal, that is. Obviously I'm not in a healed emotional state yet as the three above paragraphs prove.

So I guess I showed up here today to share something very important and meaningful with you...

ALWAYS tell people when they have food in their teeth, and bird crap in their hair.

The world will be a much better place.

#birdcraptwentysixteen #survivor

5 comments:

The Siberian American said...

Hey, apparently a bird pooping on your head is good luck, so maybe you have something amazing coming your way! ;)

Ashley @ The Wandering Weekenders said...

I had a bird poop in my hair one time at the beach, and I've never looked at seagulls the same ever again! I can't believe that nobody told you either! I promise that I would have told you!

Laura Darling said...

Well, at least you didn't have bird poop in your hair AND lunch in your teeth when you saw your neighbors...? Seriously though I HATE when people don't tell me there's something in my teeth!! So humiliating!

I hope you had enough shampoo to heal from that bird related tragedy. You poor thing. I don't know if I'd be brave enough to go without a hat again!!

Susannah said...

I'VE HAD A BIRD POOP ON ME TOO AND IT'S THE WORST THING EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yes, that did deserve all caps!

Kristen @ See You In A Porridge said...

oh my gosh, i let the food in teeth thing slide for a minute or two, but if they keep eating or drinking and it stays, i tell them. because i am a good person! if i saw someone with bird poop on their head... not gonna lie though, i would assume you'd know. hahaha. i've had bird poop on me before but everyone saw it happen and pointed and laughed, and then they called me bird shit for the rest of 8th grade. which is 0% fun, let me tell you.

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