January 16, 2014

my life, the TV show

We all have our long list of TV shows we must watch every single week. If you are like me and Freddie (read: awesome) then you watch said TV shows every night thanks to a genius of an invention called Netflix. 

Hey, suga' muffin! I'm home! 
Oh yay, I've got Dexter all cued up and ready to go. 
*presses play*

Ahh, the world's finest romanticism at work.

Important things to note:
1) Neither of us call the other suga' muffin, but Holy Horrible Pet Name I wish we did. 
2) Dexter is part of our family now. Period. The End. Dexter Morgan Weiss. It's a thing.

But have you ever noticed that these shows, these alternate realities, influence our lives in huge ways?

Pick me! I've noticed. 

Let's review, shall we?
How I Know or wish My Day is Straight Out Of a TV Show

Every morning I wake up and just know that today is going to be a day with 1) a problem 2) a resolution to said problem and 3) some a lot of funnies along the way. Any regular TV episode, erm I mean day, has to have these things! It is a must!

Pick this particular day, for instance. I woke up and knew it was the day to take down the Christmas tree. My problem was that the tree was more dead than the roadkill that all Northerners assume we Southerners eat. My solution was a broom and a vacuum cleaner. The funnies part is that 3 weeks later I'm still finding pine needles every where in this apartment. And car. And my clothes. ISN'T THAT FUNNY? Isn't that the best story line for a TV episode ever?

Moving on.

Whenever I can't get in touch with Freddie when I'm on my way home from work I automatically assume he is either A) showering the apartment with rose petals, chocolates, and all things romantic and surprising or B) some mad serial killer has been hiding behind our closed shower curtain this whole time.  I must enter the door with caution.

Now, I do realize those are two very big extremes, however you have to understand we fill our time with TV shows like Parks and Rec where this happens:
blurry pic, high five.
And Dexter where this happens:

So you can obviously see my dilemma in assumptions when my husband does not answer his phone. I think the only time Freds has successfully surprised me is when he proposed. Which I don't think he is planning on doing again anytime soon. Which leaves me to believe option B is happening.

And finally, I now know (thanks to TV!) that any dramatic moment in my life calls for slow motion and wind. Two simple ingredients that create one big impact.

Got my leotard on, hair in a bun, and tights on my legs. 
slow motion lock the door and walk to the car

No, little ballerina! This floor is slippery in tap shoes!
slow motion run in for a save

Honey, I'm home from work!
slow motion walk for a kiss

Goodnight Freddie, love you.
slow motion hug action
Here's a prime example of slow-mo windblown action.

There you have it. Now where are the writers and film crew that are basing a new show off of my life?
What shows take over your day?


Erin LFF said...

Hehehe! You're hilarious! I need to start thinking about my day in terms of a tv episode, they might be more entertaining that way ;)

Helene in Between said...

i totally like to do things slow motion at times.

also i haven't taken down a single christmas decoration and this needs to change.

Emily Carnes said...

OMG - Andrew and I were like this with Game of Thrones. He had read the books, and wanted me to read them. But, of course I told him I'd watch the TV show. So, we watched all three seasons online over the course of like...one month. It was sad!

Kayla MKOY said...

Today I totally couldn't get a hold of Caleb OR his brother (who carpool together) and I automatically assumed they were both dead in a ditch! We women...we're crazy ;) this is amazing. OMG meant to tell you, we finally finished season 4 of Dexter... O-M-G!!!!!!!!!

Jenna Griffin said...

Bahahaha, I had the same experience taking down my tree. It looked like a Christmas tree exploded all over our living room! I'm still finding needles, too!

Ashley said...

I am the SAME way when it comes to someone not answering the telephone. I feel like I should start watching Dexter...maybe, just maybe!!


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