I finished reading a book yesterday. A book that I started in January, but hey! I did it! If this had been a marathon, I would have been about three
minutes months behind the cop car that herds all the slowpokes to the finish line.
Don't wait on me! I'll catch up to you soon!
Wait, maybe come back here and help me...
But whatever. It felt so good to read something that didn't have any words that ended in -itis or -lysis or -osis.
Wanna know what I finished? Steve Martin's autobiography, Born Standing Up.
Wanna know what other books are lined up for me to finish in the next two
to fifteen months? A big, fat pile of astronaut autobiographies.
THIS IS WHAT HEAVEN'S LIBRARY LOOKS LIKE, PEOPLE.
I'm sure of it.
Anyways, this whole me being a grown bleep woman and finishing a non-anatomy book thing made me think of other things I should do more of now that things like studying anatomy and Pilates history are no longer consuming my life
Get ready for the lamest and most adult list ever that also might be the best and coolest list ever.
1. Sit down and look through the dang photo books I've made.
When I decide to make a photo book it becomes my job. My job that I don't get paid for, but instead am the one doing the paying. So that makes perfect sense. I spend hours, no days, debating over whether to add the sparkle sun badge or the flag banner on the top left corner of page 9. Because what if I hate it once it's printed?! I'll probably end up sticking it on a shelf and never looking at it! So I have to make it look perfect!
Oh wait...they end up stuck on a shelf anyways.
So you know what? I pulled out those bad boys yesterday, wiped off about a year or two worth of dust, and actually looked at them.
2. Let the dog sleep on me.
Ugh, twist my freaking arm, but fiiiiiine. I'll take a few chill minutes and let doggie look like this on my lap.
3. Spend more time on Pinterest
Because how else will I know which household projects I can feel guilty about never doing if I don't pin them on Pinterest?
I don't mean Clorox Wipe clean. I mean clean. In bold so you realize how serious this cleaning business is. Getting those baseboards clean. Getting those cabinets clean. Getting whatever is under the couch clean. So fresh, so clean clean and all that.
This also includes not dusting around stuff, but moving said stuff in order to dust. Speaking of dust, let's talk about how it's the most unrewarding and frustrating job on the planet.
Me: I feel awesome. I just dusted!
Dust: I feel awesome. I'm going to float around in the air for a few seconds before landing back in the same spot I was!
Ugh, I told you this list was lame and awesome.
5. Snapchat Face Swap More
Because everyone else is doing it, and I look really good as the 1990 version of my grandfather.