January 30, 2015

on solving a mystery

Back in October when we moved to our new place, I was most excited about the hardwood floors. Hardwood. Floors. So classy! So grown-up! So nice looking! I had had it with nasty carpet. I was a hardwood floor girl, and I was wanted to scream it from the rooftops.

But after about 27 days living with my new lover, hardwood floors, I realized they weren't so easy and wonderful... You sweep and mop and sweep and mop and clean and scrub and they look so beautiful and shiny that you kind of want to kiss them. And then, then, then, then! Then you take one step. Just one--that's all it takes, and suddenly your pristine and shiny hardwood floors have a toe print on them. After that, all hell breaks loose because the door opens and the wind blows in some old Christmas tree needles that are still lingering outside, mourning their departure from your apartment. And then it rains one day, and you hurriedly run in the door, and your slippery, muddy shoes leave slippery, muddy prints on the floors. 

Life is hard. Excuse me, life with hardwood floors is hard. 

Every Thursday between 2:30 and 4 o'clock I sweep our apartment. (You see, that is what adulthood is about, after all--scheduling your cleanings). Every Thursday around 2:48 I am shocked at what I find. 

As I sweep our hallway I somehow start gathering 3x as much dust, random crap, pine needles, and hair as I gathered in any other part of the apartment. The hallway? The hallway! Why yes, it all makes sense. Freddie and I do spend about 0.5% of our week in the hallway so it totally would accumulate the biggest amount of dusty piles to sweep. Oh wait, that doesn't make any sense at all. 
Why is my hair all over the hallway?! I shower, brush my wet hair, dry and then brush my dry hair, and style my hair (a.k.a. ballerina buns) in the bathroom. I spend a decent amount of time in my bedroom. I spend the most amount of time in the living room, but my hair is sparse in these other locations. 

My only conclusion (and it's a good one) is that my brain lets my hair know when I am taking my daily 3 steps across the hallway and suddenly my hair starts parachuting to the floor. Weeeeeeeee! We'll show her where we want to be!

And that, my friends, is the great mystery of Friday life. Have fun solving it. 
Happy Friday!

And a shoutout Happy Birthday! to Lawyer Katie. She was my first female friend in Chucktown and I kind of like her a lot. 


Kayla MKOY said...

Hahahah, your hair parachute comment had me dying. You always entertain me ;) but hey, I'd still kill to have hardwood floors. LOVE THEM!

Erin LFF said...

LOL- I laughed out loud reading the Weeeeee! ;) You are so funny and you also convinced me I don't need hardwood floors like I was so set on.

Ashley said...

I know...I do love our hardwood floors (where we have them), but they are a serious upkeep. This is why we need maids, Em!!!!!


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