April 9, 2014

a 2014 wife

One of my friends recently sent me this pin. 
Because sexism is funny, okay? Please tell me you don't laugh when you read this. Because you do. I turn into this emoticon when I read it. 
But not before I turn into this one first...

Today we are going to dissect these key points on How To Be A Good Wife. Maybe we will find out who makes a better wife: Emily or Freddie? It's on. Let's start at the very beginning (a very good place to start! --Maria Von Trapp and Emily). 

Cue the hahahahahaha's because I have plenty of them stored up for this one. My planning ahead for dinner involves calling Freddie on the way home from teaching and asking him what he has started cooking. And said "planned ahead dinner" is always delicious. DELICIOUS. Good wife point goes to...Freddie on this one. 

Let's start with the most important part...the last time I had a ribbon in my hair was in middle school. Freddie with a middle schooler is, well...illegal. So I'll skip the hair ribbon, but thanks anyways. Moving on. Take 15 minutes? Hmmm, I usually work later than Freddie so I'd have to prepare myself in the car on the drive home. I asked my friend Katie if leotard and tights are considered fresh-looking and presentable and she pointed out that in some households that might even be considered boudoir-esque. Not in this household. Frederick probably gets more excited seeing me in real clothes. But man, trying to change to put on real clothes while driving home just seems dangerous. Maybe I'll hire a driver so I can get fresh-looking? Or...or or or! Maybe it's a-okay the way it is. Screw, sexism! Freddie needs to take his 15 minutes! The good wife point goes to...ME because I look good all the time! Rawr. 

Desire to please him? Only inappropriate comments come to mind on this one so on that note...moving on.

I'm pretty sure that if my husband's body and spirit needs renewing then he can bathe himself and read the Bible. I will clean my apartment when I feel like it. Which happens to be quite often so I guess Freddie's body and spirit are just flourishing. You are welcome, dear husband.

What he might have gone through? I guess it is true, though. When I have to discipline a temper tantrum throwing child or hold a crying child while still trying to teach 7 others or deal with potty accidents and sick children and wipe up all the snot and try to talk over 20 middle schoolers and then high schoolers while not trying to lose my mind or my voice, I am going through...nothing. Nothing in comparison to what my poor, poor husband may have gone through. I'll remember to sit there like a statue and keep my mouth shut. I'm learning so much from this process!

Provide me with immense personal satisfaction? Who knew becoming a ribbon wearing robot with no feelings or emotions could make me so satisfied and happy?! All of life's questions are being answered through this.

I say all of this in jest. Well...kind of. I love helping out my husband. I enjoy cleaning and I've said it once, but I'll say it a million more times: I would do all the laundry in the world if it meant I didn't have to worry about cooking. So I do the laundry and Freddie worries enjoys cooking. I enjoy decorating our apartment and finding new gems to make it our home

But I enjoyed doing all of this when I lived at home with my family. Helping out when and where was needed. I enjoyed doing all of this when I lived at school with roommates. Trash is full? I'll take it out. 

Mutual respect and understanding is the way to go. So let's go, yo! I think my immense personal satisfaction comes from seeing the successes of Freddie and Emily's team work.  

What do you think makes a good wife/husband?


Ashley said...

I don't think I did enough eye rolling while I was reading the first list. Oh my. What a messssss!!!!

I think my favorite is the prepping 15 mins before he gets home (and the comments about the leotard and tights.) :) !!!

Meghan Kraft said...

Oh my gosh. This is the worst, hahaha. I feel like I've seen these in some old ads from the fifties...?

Kenzie Smith said...

I always think it is fun reading things like this since now days it seems so ridiculous to do! It's strange to think that women were actually like that. I guess I can understand some of it.. It is geared to stay at home wives and that is kind of what I am ha ha.


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