charles has a licking problem

You know what has been on my mind lately?

COWLICKS

Weird? Let me explain...

The other day I was just driving around belting out The Cave at the top of my lungs (the usual), when I got real annoyed with my hair falling in my face. Now, for those of you who don't know my tragic story, I got bangs several months ago which turned out to be like the worst decision of my life. I'm not even being dramatic, I'm being Serious Suzy. Good news: they're growing out. Bad news: they are in my eyes and face 24/7. Anyways, why were bangs the worst decision of my life? Because I have a cowlick. There I said it. On the day I was born, the cows were super bored so they wandered over to Piedmont Hospital looking for something to do. What happens when cows are bored and at hospitals? They find newborns and lick their heads. All the cows in Georgia came to lick my head that morning. 

Other than the obvs creepiness of this pic, notice my covered left eye. THANKS cowlick.

I feel like I need to go to Cowlicks Anonymous or something for the grief and anxiety that my cowlick has caused and will continue causing me. I mean, I did live my first three years of life with a big ole hair horn sticking outta my head because of my cowlick.

(Where were we?)

Yes, so I started thinking about cowlicks? Whaaaa is the purpose of cowlicks? What is the meaning of cowlicks? Why do we get cowlicks? (and yes, I mean get them just like you would get the flu or something). I immediately searched for the answers to my enormously important questions. Here is all Wikipedia had to say:

A cowlick is a section of hair that stands straight up or lies at an angle at odds with the style in which the rest of an individual's hair is worn. 

Basically, all I got from that was, "Blahblahblah cowlicks stink and are odd." That's what you got too, right?

I did find out that some people go to the extreme of having plastic surgery to get rid of a cowlick. Errrm, no thanks. I think I'll keep it for now. I mean, sometimes I feel pretty special that all the cows chose MY head of hair on which to slap their tongues.

p.s.- If anyone has the answers to my questions, please enlighten me. 

p.p.s- What does the title have to do with anything? Well, check this out. (maybe that's what licked me...)




**update: 

good morning, Elvis