July 10, 2012

a case of the no funday mondays

Growing up is hard to do. But for real. Summer feels like...every other week during the year except a lot more sweat and a lot fewer clothes. Gone are the days of endless free days and 5 vacations/trips per summer months. Gone are the days of spending every day at the pool from opening to closing time. Gone are the days of living off of candy bars and...oh wait, those days aren't gone just yet.

Yesterday was just a funny day. Every little thing that happened was obviously a big ole fat joke. And boy, was I laughing! While I did title this post the non fun-day Monday, it really all started on Sunday. Sunday, you were not nice, no sir. 

The downward no fun spiral started on Sunday evening when we got a sign from the Universe. Yep! It's true. The Universe spoke and told me, Freddiefriend, and Jimmie not come home from vacation this weekend by giving us a flat tire on the way home. We were meant to stay in FL! It was our destiny and we ruined it! And because of that, we had to be punished. Which leads in my no fun-day Monday. 

After returning to GA during the deep deep night and closing my eyes for what felt like a quick nap, I was up and driving to Kennesaw. I always say that driving down 85 to Newnan feels like you are going to the armpit of GA. Exit after exit after exit... well if Newnan is the armpit of GA then Kennesaw is the knee pit. (Georgia is obviously an upside down man, okay? Roll with me here). It is so far away! It's like the more you drive the farther away it gets. Mind blown! Crazy! It doesn't feel real. Once I got to Kennesaw to teach my dance camp I realized I had a piece of glass stuck in my foot. The tiniest piece of glass somehow caused the biggest amount of pain. And a good amount of blood. So naturally I danced on it and shoved it up real good in my skin because I mean, what else was I supposed to do? 

Here is what went down next: 
Scene 1-My dentist (in Newnan) called to move my appointment to 2. Camp ends at noon. Plenty of time to drive to the GA's armpit and stop somewhere by the shoulder to get some lunch on the way. Right? Wrong. Because first days of camp are confusing and parents don't remember what time the camp ends so we wait a long time for pick ups. 

Scene 2-I arrive at the dentist office just in time. Getting from Kennesaw to Newnan in one hour? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I will accept an award. They sit me in a room immediately which makes me giddy because I think this procedure will be fast and I can finally eat my first meal of the day.

Right? Wrong. Because duh! You sit in the room waiting in the dentist chair for 2 hours instead of waiting in the designated waiting room. I was so naive before yesterday. I learned so much. 

Scene 3 a.k.a Best Scene Ever-Towards the end of my 1.5ish hour wait I am about to unleash my hanger or hungry anger on someone. I had not eaten all day. I had a shard of glass wedged somewhere in my foot. And my teeth were probably rotting right there as the time ticked away.

Right? WRONG. Because HERE IS THE KICKER....::drum roll:: I have magic teeth! Magic! You heard correctly. When the dentist finally strolls in and takes a peek in my mouth he exclaims that there is nothing he can do today. No, not because my sticky pits turned into cavities. More like my sticky pits vanished when my teeth decided to re-mineralize themselves and be perfect and clean. I'm sorry, you've never heard of teeth re-mineralizing either? Good, so we'll just say I have magic teeth.

Scene 4- Hangrily, I go home and eat a baby Milky Way bar. Oh yeah dentist, my magic teeth and I will show you. Don't you make us wait again.

Oh yeah. And Russ Moore performed surgery on my foot and got some glass out with his pocket knife. Real Grey's Anatomy style. 

Well shucks, Tuesday, you just seem boring now.
Mary Caroline, if you're reading this, shopping this afternoon with you was my favorite and not boring at all.   

And some pictures from vacation weekend...

And post-Universe speaking experience picture...


MaryCaroline said...

Yes! Shopping With Emily While The Dogs Are Being Groomed was so much fun! Let's do it again in a month or so!

Niccccorrrrr said...

Gurl, I laurphed thru dis whorle thirrrngg (Sorrrryy, irt warrrs art yur expurence)


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