I am easily swayed. Feed me a line that sounds halfway decent and reasonable, and suddenly I 100% agree with you/back you up. Liberal arts college was a hard one for me because I started to believe Debater #1, but then really fell for whatever points Debater #2 brought to the table. By the end of class I was really confused about what we were even discussing, much less what my true feelings about said subject were. Can I just be on everyone's side? Some might call my easily persuaded-ness a character flaw, but I prefer to file it under character trait. Trait makes it sound more respectable in a cute way, and I want nothing in this world if not to be respectable in a cute way.
All of this just means that I'm not really sure what my true thoughts are on the ins and outs of marriage. They (when in life do we find out who the overruling they is/are?!) always say never speak badly about your spouse to others. They say never go to bed angry. They say put the other first. They say don't fight.
But then they also say do open up to others about the hardships of marriage so that you know you're not alone. They say sometimes going to bed angry and cooling off is a good thing. They say put God first, and the rest will fall into place. They say do fight, and be nice about it.
Well what the bushel and a peck am I supposed to believe?! How can I be successful in our marriage if no one tells me what is the right way?!
Spoiler alert: there is no right way! !! !!! !!!!
I think if this past year of marriage taught me anything, it's that You Do You, Me Do Me. <---grammar for the win. I feel like every year of our three-year old marriage has tested us in different ways, and I know the obstacles and challenges and tests will just keep coming. This year felt like a big test to me. I had to choose to trust Freddie above all. I had to choose not to plan all the things. I had to choose to just chill the bleep out (Freddie, if you're reading this, I'm still practicing on all these things ;)) Because no matter where we live, how much money we do or don't have in our bank accounts, or how many trips we do or don't take, in the end we are together. We were together every past 365th day. We woke up, we did us, y'all did y'all, and somehow it's already August 24th again?! Magic.
It's okay not to have answers. It's okay to read all the marital advice, but just roll your eyes. It's okay sometimes to confide in a friend about marriage, but also sometimes not to. It's okay. You're okay. We're okay.
And marriage? Marriage is better than okay. It's fantastic.
As we get farther from our wedding day it makes me sad that when I close my eyes it takes me longer to try and capture the feelings from that day. The excitement. The nerves. The happiness. The love. It takes me a little longer to remember the tiny details that I swore I'd never forget. But any time I look and see Ricky's smirky smile or hear his infectious laugh, I remember all that I need to remember.
And what I remember is that I'm happy, healthy, and so in lurve with that Freddiefriend of mine.
Happy Three Years, Rick!