the gross side of summer

Pretty sure it's mid-May. I mean, according to my iCal it is, but according to my double-u tee eff brain it's still January 1 or 2. The thing with it being mid-May is that summer is just a wee bit away. I'm here, summer is right next door. Now don't get me wrong I love me some summer. Mostly because my birthdaymonth occurs in the summer, but also because the warmer weather, beach days, cute sundresses, cold drinks with umbrellas, endless froyo dates and all of that other stuff occurs too. 

But...but, but, but. There are a lot of reasons I am not excited about summer. Phew, feels good to say that out loud. Or rather to write that down. With summer comes a whole lot of other crud with which I would rather not deal. Let's review. 

Bugs. Holy Low Country. I thought the bugs in Central Georgia were bad. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Oh, 'scuse me but there are times when I am the most naive fool that ever did live in the low country. The bugs here are about as annoying as the accents up north, sawwy Northern folk. If you ever wondered what it would be like actually to live in the zombie apocalypse then move here. Because the amount of love bugs and other atrocious creatures that come in mass to attack you and everything near you is about as close to the real life version of A Bug's Life meets The Walking Dead that you're ever gonna get. 

This is a He Who Shall Not Be Named bug that got into our apartment last week and sent my Tuesday into downward spiral of chaos and multiple pleadings with God. I also sent Frederick about 15 texts (per minute) (and this picture) begging him to come home and kill it. Stereotypical girl? I am her. 

Knee Pit Sweat. Don't even make a face because we all know you get it too. And it's the grossest thing. It's also one of the reasons I hate a car with a leather interior. Read: because I dislike getting stuck to the seats during the summer months when my sweaty skin forges a bond with the soft, hot leather. You get the knee pit sweats when you wear shorts. You get the knee pit sweats when you wear dresses. You definitely get the knee pit sweats when you wear pants. I'm pretty sure you also get the knee pit sweats when you are, in fact, just nekkid as a jay bird. There's no hiding from it. Let's just hold hands and face this cruelty together.

Work. Don't really know what else to say about this one other than the fact that I never felt more like a grown-up than the summer when I realized I had to work all summer. Gross. Where are the days of sleeping in and running through the sprinkler and sleeping in and did I mention that sleeping in bit? Those days are gone. Side note: I can't say I miss the sprinkler bit so much, though. Getting grass stuck all over my wet feet was something this lil diva child did not enjoy.

I really can't complain about work too much when this ^^ is what my summer work includes.

While brainstorming ideas for this post I asked Freddie for some examples of why not to be excited for summer. I'll never forget the look I received from Dearest Frederick. It was 99% my wife is crazy and 1% please God, send me another. He then informed me that he could not be a part of such a post. I'll remember that come June 1 when he's complaining about having to work during those summer days (all while sweating in his leather interior car and having to kill bugs for me)...