I feel like I'm finally back at school after a long sickness absence (think mono length) and the teacher is calling role, and I finally get to say PRESENT! or HERE! or whatever kids are saying these days.
Oh, what's that? Nobody calls role anymore because it's 2016 and #technology? Cool.
Today's post is about to get real. Really real. I've spent the last three weeks slowly crumbling into a deep, dark pit of anxiety. Add in some stress, self-hate, second-guessing, overthinking, and a dollop of insecurities and you've made an Emily (plus so many other people in the world) (I want to hug all of you).
A dollop of sour cream is soooo much better than a dollop of insecurities.
I've always been a worrier by nature. Oh my gosh, what if we are late?! Freddie, turn down the music? Will the world end if I don't make the bed this morning? Etc., etc., etc., but recently my worry has gotten on an elevator and gone up about 25 levels.
Full disclosure: I haven't made our bed once in the past three weeks. A) I think this has been the first time in my adult life when I haven't made the bed every morning. Insert big gasp <here>, B) That's how bad my anxiety felt. Crazy Emily couldn't even make the crazy bed. and C) The world didn't end, in case you didn't notice.
I won't bore you with the details of the dreary anxious place in my mind, but it's not pretty. You know what else isn't pretty? When you don't take care of yourself. And after these past several weeks, I fully believe that part of taking care of yourself includes admitting things aren't great, asking for help, and hugging the crap out of your support system.
It's okay when you don't smile every minute of the every day. It's okay when you reach out to a friend or family member and be straight with them. Tell them what's going on. Tell them what sucks. Because you know why you have a family and have friends?! TO SUPPORT YOU. To encourage you. To love you. To show you grace. To give you a helping hand. To like your crazy. To make you nice playlists that calm you down. To help you make goals. To help you achieve said goals.
That's why these people are in your life, so use them! Because we aren't meant to go through life alone with no human connection.
End of story. End of rant.
Now let's see what my Camera Roll says has been going on in my life for the past several weeks...
^^^Lupe wanted some coffee.
^^^We bike around Houston so we don't feel as guilty for stopping for food like this along the way.
^^^Set-up for a private this week. Why haven't you tried Pilates yet?!
^^^Lupe knows no personal space and it's kind of the greatest. Except when you're really wanting personal space. Like when you're trying to type this blog post, for instance.
So there you have it. Anxiety + dogs + Pilates = my life. But my life also = an amazing support system, a cute as heck dog, and a Pilates teaching job where I get to teach something in which I fully believe. Now go take a few deep breaths, stand up nice and tall, and go conquer the crap outta this Friday.
6 comments:
oh hun, i am so sorry :( i hope things start to look up soon. i agree about using your support system. and you have a virtual one over here! sending all the hugs.
and also, now i want sour cream. yum.
also also? i don't make my bed. ever. i actually kind of hate a made bed. yes, i'm weird. or whatever.
hugs again xx
Sending lots of hugs your way!!!!
I hope you're able to have an enjoyable and relaxing weekend. I love that you're able to look on the bright side and see the things like Lupe and your job that you love. Know that you have a support system here in blogland, too!
Meg, Borrowed Heaven
Oh, Emily, I know what a monster anxiety can be. Thinking of you, lady! :)
ALL the hugs for you, sweet Emily!!! I know the feeling all too well. Caleb will never understand why I fear, worry, dread, get slight anxiety attacks over even the smallest things...but it just happens. You are not less because of it. Thanks for being so real, and like I said, sending all the virtual hugs your way, beautiful!! Enjoy your weekend, and #treatyoself!
Sending some love and all the dollops of sour cream your way girlfriend! ;) Life is hard, sometimes more than other times- but I'm so glad you have people to surround yourself with when you need 'em.
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