advice on (not) driving: part II

It's Wednesday afternoon and I'm sitting in Target writing this. Not in like a classy Target Starbucks chair, but on the disgustingly gross benches out front. The level of filth on these benches makes me question my basic girl attitude of must-spend-$200-every-visit love for Target. But that's not why I'm writing. 

I'm writing because my car won't start. My car won't start on the day Mother Nature decided to grace Houston with rain torrential downpours for the first time in weeks/months. I know what you're thinking: What are the chances?! Lucky you! And you're right, it is luck, but remember there are two kinds of luck. I swear I didn't find a four-leaf clover this morning, but I SHOULD HAVE. 

My car also wouldn't start last night when Freds tried to pick me up at the airport after my flight had been delayed two hours, but that's a complaint story for another time. 

Sometimes I wonder why I'm allowed to be an adult? And who decides when we get to be adults? Riddle me that. Because at twenty-six years old I had no idea what to do once my car wouldn't start. I was perplexed. Confused. Intrigued. Even though this car had done this to Freddie the night before I was convinced I would be fine with it today. I mean, come on! I'm a wife and my house was out of laundry detergent! I had to get to Target to fulfill my destiny on this Earth of making sure my husband always has clean clothes! How could the universe not let me fulfill my destiny and get home with the newly purchased laundry detergent?!

Because sometimes the universe laughs at us and says LOL, humans. I don't think so. You don't get be an adult today.

I texted Freddie, but he was in and out of meetings. I texted my mother who was in Georgia, so that wasn't smart. Dear God, Emily, why can't you do something or contact someone who could actually help?! My texts read somewhat like that of a child as I conveyed my level of frustration and annoyance through emojis instead of words.
Example:

Problem solving when it comes to adult decision is not my forte <<something I learned during this rainy, dead car moment. Also anything car-related is not my forte as we all discovered last year when I burst my tire all because of a bug. 

Freddie was able to skip out of a meeting and come save me and the car. I'm sure it was like a kid getting to skip school to watch The Price is Right! Not. Ish.

Anyways, now that I am home and it's Wednesday night, I am going to put on my bright pink polka dot American Eagle sleep shorts that I've had for ten years. And put on my fuzzy Santa socks with the holes in them. And eat some freaking chocolate for dinner because since I am an adult I can choose to act like a child.

The End. 

advice on driving

You know lately I had been thinking Life, what should I blog about?

There's only so many episodes of Heros I can watch in one night and there's only so many ballet terms you'll try to read before getting bored. That wasn't leaving me with a lot of content to use in blogging.

Today, friends, I taught a great petite jete combination! Nothing like some entrechat quatres to get a Thursday going!

On last night's episode of Heros...hashtag: 9 years late to the Heros game.

Last Friday Life stepped in to help me and man, I am so thankful for that. You see, last Friday I was on the way to teach my second class of the day when Life put a bug on my dashboard. A bug! Yuck! I mean, I know my car is dirty and I know that ants crawl on the outside, but an inside car bug? No. So I went to smash it. Obviously. 

Instead I smashed into a curb. And gashed my tire. And lost my hub cap. And slowly chugga-chugged along into the nearest parking lot. And then ran back across the road to pick up my hub cap. Ain't nobody got time to be buying new hub caps. A kind woman in the parking lot informed me that my tire was flat.

Freaking fuh-lat. Yeah, kinda figured that when I Jackie Chan'd my car up onto a curb.

Luckily (remember now, there are two kinds of luck) there was a tire shop half a mile away. 15 minutes of driving 2MPH, 10 honks from other cars, 8 major freak outs to Freddie on the phone, and 1 traffic build-up on Mt. Pleasant's busiest highway later, I made it to Tire Kingdom. And yes, it was a beacon of glorious kingdom-ly hope in my darkest flat tire time.

The Tire Kingdom men joked about those darn curbs coming up outta nowhere and how they were going to talk to DOT for me to get them to stop putting curbs up in the middle of the road, yadda yadda yadda, basically I love the Tire Kingdom men for joking with me otherwise I probably would have cried and hidden in our apartment all weekend in fear that someone would recognize that idiot car that backed up Highway 17 on Friday.

But now I've got a new tire and fancy fixed alignment so recognize the idiot car all you want, people. I don't care. I've learned my lesson and I will not be killing anymore teeny tiny bugs on my dashboard.

...because hopefully the bugs have learned their lesson and will stay out of my car, thankyaverymuch.

When Life gives you a flat tire and embarrassing experiences make blog posts. Because laughing is more fun than crying and hiding.

I didn't manage to get any pictures of the experience. I know, pathetic. Pretty sure Life gave me this experience so that I would take pictures for your viewing pleasure. But instead picture this:

this is what my tire looked like:

for realsies. size and everything. 

and this is what my overall demeanor looked like:

and this is what makes me feel better about running across the street for my hub cap:

and this is what the men at Tire Kingdom wanted to look like:

and this is how I felt like the traffic looked like behind my slow-like-molasses car:

There. The End.