from the deep, dark archives, round 2.

**Originally posted May 22, 2013. A.K.A. the day my wedding dress became a dog toy. 

How many of you have dogs? Oh, all of you? Thought so. I think I am the only person in this planet who doesn't want a pet dog right now, but that's for a whole other post. 

This post is a story, a really great story. A story that one day I might tell the grandkids--ya know, that kind of story. 

Meet Dagi and Boone, my mother's dogs. Wait, not her dogs, her baby boys. Her precious angels. Her perfect pups. You get the idea, my mom lurves her some Dagi and Boone. 

Meet me, Emily, my mother's middle child. Wait, not her middle child, her baby girl. Her darling daughter. Her marvelous mini-me. My moms lurves some Emily.

Which is why when I found a beautiful, gorgeous, custom made wedding dress (for the cheapo) on Etsy, my mother told me to go ahead and order it. Do it, she said, and that's one less thing you'll have to worry about. Plus it screamed my name. Like Hello, Emily, I am your dress. I was made for you. Put me on! Do it! Do it! Oh alright, perfect dress and MC, I'll cave. And I did, I bought a wedding dress on Etsy.

Sketchy?

Super sketchy. 

This was my guilty dialogue that went on and on in my head after that purchase:

This is sketch.

Oh my God. What did I do?

There is no way this is coming.

Wahhhh, but it's so perfect.

Why why why.

Why did I do that?

What is my plan B?

Oh my God, I am never getting this dress. 

But I love it.

Get the picture? I am crazy, the end. I did a crazy thing and I knew it was crazy and I did it anyways. Crazy crazy. 

GUESS WHAT?

Well, don't guess yet. Just listen. 

Last Friday my sister gurl was home alone (just like Kevin Mc-ster). She wanted to shower and let the dogs outside because hey, rather them chew on grass then important stuff inside.

At some point during that day, my wedding dress was delivered...in an envelope. To the front door. An envelope. A big 'ole dress in an envelope. Sounds like a big mistake to me. 

Ann pops downstairs later, all clean, and notices a torn up package and something white in the yard.

Oh hey, MY WEDDING DRESS, so nice to meet you finally...and the mud and holes that encompass you. 

Oh hey, THE DOG'S NEW CHEW TOY, so nice to meet you finally. I mean, wait, no no no no no. 

NO!

Long long long story short, the dress was/is salvageable. No one told me this story until 4 days later when the tailor had confirmed she could magically fix my dress. And when they told me, they laughed because it's not too soon to laugh about the dogs using my dress as a chew toy, right?

Well, right. Because it is so beautiful that I almost didn't even notice the mud. And that's a complete lie, I totally noticed but I cared way less because I was staring at it with my mouth open.

Wow, crazy Etsy Emily, you win. 

I win. 

Time to go wait on the front doorstep for our invitations...