tidying up

Okay, let's take care of some housekeeping.

Housekeeping One | We went bike riding on Monday. I didn't die of heat exhaustion, and I only complained 10% of the bike riding complaining I usually do. Also, also, also...my crotch survived so we're just winning on all levels.

Housekeeping Two | Freddie's doing another giant puzzle so our dining room table is out of commission for the time being...

good thing we eat on the couch anyways. 

Housekeeping Three | I spent about 1.5 hours rearranging the liquor bottles and wine glasses we have out, and I have literally never felt more productive. Get at me, Pinterest. Get at me! 

Housekeeping Four | We've had a ready-to-take-to-Goodwill pile sitting in the living room for about...three months. It's still there, and some days I really care and other days I don't. I guess if I really cared I would have taken it to Goodwill by now. 

Housekeeping Five | On a similar note, sometimes when Freddie leaves things out I decide not to play my usual role of nagging wife and instead I play a game of How Long Will It Take Freddie To Notice Said Item Is Out And In The Way Without Me Saying Anything. It's such a fun game. One time a suitcase lived in the middle of our bathroom floor for fourteen days. Guys, you can't buy entertaining games like this. Priceless!

Housekeeping Six | Costco is still the the knees on multiple bees, just in case you were wondering. 

Housekeeping Seven | Do you like podcasts? Then you need to listen to My Favorite Murder. Do you like true crime? Then you need to listen to My Favorite Murder. Do you like things in this world that are good? Then you need to listen to My Favorite Murder. Do you want to keep reading my questions or do you want to just go ahead and listen to My Favorite Murder?

Housekeeping Eight | I never had acne growing up. I mean, I had the occasional zit that looked like Mt. Vesuvius and that I decided was a token of my world ending, but somehow the world didn't end, I was able to keep living and riding bikes (eye roll), and my body decided to wait until I was 27 to give me the real world's ending acne. Here's hoping I can find a skincare regimen that makes my face look sparkly and thirteen to eighteen-ish again.

Well, that's about all we've got folks as far as cleaning and organizing. I'm off to go actually clean our apartment, and maybe spend another hour or four moving around useless knick knacks. Happy Hump Day indeed!

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when costco is a go

Freddie and I have been debating getting a Costco membership for awhile now. 

^^^sounds like it should be the first line of a great screenplay, right? Nothing like the average American couple and their #thestruggleisreal probs. 

But seriously, this struggle was real because have you ever done the math on if a Costco membership is worth it? No? Me either. But Ricky did, and it looked complicated to me. 

I was too busy taking pictures of Freddie doing to the math to do any math myself. 

We got so serious about getting a membership that two weekends we went in. Cue the angelic music. We slipped in by the Greeter by telling him that we wanted to talk memberships, but instead of that we walked all around. We talked about what we would buy, priced things, and...ate every single sample being served. Read it was a lot of samples. Then we decided that we still weren't ready to bite the bullet, so instead we needed to order and bite a $1.50 hot dog and drink. 

But even then we weren't ready to bite the bullet, so we left. 

And that was that.

Until this past weekend after 2.5 more hours of research and Reddit reading, we finally did it. We went in, we bought the membership, we bought enough gum to fill every junk drawer in the apartments on our floor, and we left. Can I just say that the past few days of this Costco member high have been wonderful?! Freds made turkey meatballs last night, and I didn't feel guilty eating them all because I knew we still have four pounds of ground turkey with which to cook. 

We've got enough Brussel sprouts to satisfy for roasted Brussels sprouts cravings for at least the entire week. 

Who needs some broccoli?! The entire city of Houston? Great, we've got all 2.1 mil of you covered. 

I'll be carrying a Perrier bottle with me any time you see me for the next six to eight months so be on the lookout for that green bottle attached to my hands and the third and fourth shelves in our refrigerator. 

And the thing is...you think I'm saying all these things in a tongue-in-cheek way. I'm not. Costco is literally the greatest thing ever, and I literally can't wait to make the biggest mess feeding turkey broccoli dinners to all of Houston because I've got all the paper towel rolls I need to clean up the 2.1mil person mess! Holla.

Other exciting adult things:

1) when my credit card is all paid off

2) the 11.3 minutes when all the laundry in the house is clean

3) when I remember to make a to-do list

4) four weeks later when I remember I made a to-do list and can go back and look at it

5) when I clean the toilet and Freddie hasn't used it yet

6) when I remember to schedule a doctor's appointment and I only have to wait three months to go in instead of six

7) Clorox wipes

8) dry cleaners

9) sleeping in...until 7:30am

10) a full tank of gas that someone else (read Freddie) filled up for me

Now who wants super healthy cheap Costco pizza for lunch? 

three

I am easily swayed. Feed me a line that sounds halfway decent and reasonable, and suddenly I 100% agree with you/back you up. Liberal arts college was a hard one for me because I started to believe Debater #1, but then really fell for whatever points Debater #2 brought to the table. By the end of class I was really confused about what we were even discussing, much less what my true feelings about said subject were. Can I just be on everyone's side? Some might call my easily persuaded-ness a character flaw, but I prefer to file it under character trait. Trait makes it sound more respectable in a cute way, and I want nothing in this world if not to be respectable in a cute way.

All of this just means that I'm not really sure what my true thoughts are on the ins and outs of marriage. They (when in life do we find out who the overruling they is/are?!) always say never speak badly about your spouse to others. They say never go to bed angry. They say put the other first. They say don't fight.

But then they also say do open up to others about the hardships of marriage so that you know you're not alone. They say sometimes going to bed angry and cooling off is a good thing. They say put God first, and the rest will fall into place. They say do fight, and be nice about it. 

Well what the bushel and a peck am I supposed to believe?! How can I be successful in our marriage if no one tells me what is the right way?!

Spoiler alert: there is no right way! !! !!! !!!!

I think if this past year of marriage taught me anything, it's that You Do You, Me Do Me. <---grammar for the win. I feel like every year of our three-year old marriage has tested us in different ways, and I know the obstacles and challenges and tests will just keep coming. This year felt like a big test to me. I had to choose to trust Freddie above all. I had to choose not to plan all the things. I had to choose to just chill the bleep out (Freddie, if you're reading this, I'm still practicing on all these things ;)) Because no matter where we live, how much money we do or don't have in our bank accounts, or how many trips we do or don't take, in the end we are together. We were together every past 365th day. We woke up, we did us, y'all did y'all, and somehow it's already August 24th again?! Magic. 

It's okay not to have answers. It's okay to read all the marital advice, but just roll your eyes. It's okay sometimes to confide in a friend about marriage, but also sometimes not to. It's okay. You're okay. We're okay.

And marriage? Marriage is better than okay. It's fantastic. 

As we get farther from our wedding day it makes me sad that when I close my eyes it takes me longer to try and capture the feelings from that day. The excitement. The nerves. The happiness. The love. It takes me a little longer to remember the tiny details that I swore I'd never forget. But any time I look and see Ricky's smirky smile or hear his infectious laugh, I remember all that I need to remember.

And what I remember is that I'm happy, healthy, and so in lurve with that Freddiefriend of mine. 

Happy Three Years, Rick! 

lupe the icebreaker

The weather in Houston this past weekend was...weird. Weird in that it wasn't 105 degrees with 90% humidity. It was 89 degrees with 45% humidity which is what I can only imagine Antarctica must feel like. 

But really, it was cold for a Houston summer day. Cold here means not unbearably hot, just so we're all clear. 

We did what any sane-we've-been-living-in-our-own-sweat-for-three-straight-months kind of people would do and went the freak outside. You see, summer in Texas means you are pale because you spend all your time inside places where the AC is blasting, and the sun is not shining. But Sunday, oh this past Sunday, it was dreamy! Cloudy. Breezy once every three or four hours. We might have even sung Oh Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, won't you please not shine down on me! 

JK we didn't sing that, but now I want to rewind so that we can sing that. Rick does love to sing with me. Not. 

Anyways, us getting out and about went down how it goes every. single. time. we decide to do something outside. 

Rick: Wanna do something?

Em: Chyeah!

Rick: Wanna bike ride?

Em: Absolutely not.

Rick: You never bike ride with me.

Em: False. Read my blog for Example A, B, C, and D. 

Rick: Let's go for a walk!

Em: ...interesting. I can get down with a walk.

^^^I was eating my words up there when we were 3 miles and 1.5 hours into the walk and Freddie decided he wanted to go just a little bit farther. 

And then just a little bit farther. Suddenly the Antarctica type Houston weather felt more like real Houston weather.

And oh, we are so close to insert bar name here that we might as well just walk there! That's when any trace of the day feeling nice out vanished, and suddenly I felt like we were walking through water. Hot water. 

By the time we got to said bar and could sit down and get a drink I was over it. I was over the sweat. I was over the fact that I had showered that morning. What a waste! Why do I keep washing my hair in Houston's summer? Over it.

And that's when we made our new best friends. You see, having a dog is (I'm assuming) like having a child. Suddenly everyone thinks they can come over to you because your dog/baby happens to be the best ice breaker. Everybody wants to pet your dog/hold your baby. Everybody wants to hear your dog/baby stories. In this case, everybody happened to be two very happy (read very intoxicated) people. 

We heard about their dogs. We heard about their trips. We heard about their 25th wedding anniversary. We heard about his dad's fourth marriage, and her parent's divorce and then remarriage to each other. We heard about their trip to Cancun. We heard about how they save to go to Cancun. We heard about how years one and two were the hardest in their marriage.

And to think! We found out all this information about strangers because of our dog! So lucky!

We finished our drinks and started the hour plus walk back in the heat-but-not-heat, only for it to start raining within minutes of our return, which honestly kind of felt like we won the lottery. Lupe and I passed out and somehow Freddie took this cutest picture ever that I love. I don't even care how ridiculous...ly cute it is. 

And you know what? Up until I sat down to write this blog I was on the side of the fence where I wanted to complain about strangers approaching us because of our dog. Because people definitely did not come up to us to be our new best friends when we were dog less. 

But now, now that I'm typing it out and reliving it in my head you know what?! I jumped the fence and I'm now on the side where while I think it's pretty weird that strangers approached us and told us their life stories over beer, who cares. They were friendly, they loved the Lups, and most important of all, they were having FUN.

May you all go out with your dogs and have some real, good, genuine FUN on this hump day. 

The end.

when you're an olympic gold medalist

If you're like me the rest of the world, then you've been parked on your couch in front of the TV, watching the Olympics every night now for a week. 

And what a glorious week it has been! Simone Biles jumping higher than a Jack Russell terrier on speed, Lilly King being so Straight Edge/hardcore, Michael Phelps turning into a merman (by the way, his son has an Instagram, and yes, at age five months he has more followers than you do). 

In honor of the Olympics I thought this post could take you through my brain at any given moment when watching NBC/MSNBC/Bravo/NBC Sports/Gold Zone coverage of the Rio 2016 Olympics. 

DOESN'T THIS SOUND LIKE SO MUCH FUN?!?! YES! <---that's what is going through your brain at this moment. 

Side note: my dad worked at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics which, to six-year old me, was a BFD. 

I'm not saying he did invent the self-timer selfie, but I'm also not saying he didn't... wink wink. double negative. win win. 

Okay, back to you + my brain + all you've ever wanted + funsies = this blog.

What's that noise? Lupe...? No. Someone outside? No. Oh I see, Venus and Serena Williams are still making weird sexual groans and moans while playing tennis. NBD.  

Does calling ping-pong table tennis make it any more official? No. Ugh, Freddie, why are you still watching ping-pong table tennis? Didn't we just see this at the bar last weekend or...at least at Sally's house in sixth grade? Does that mean air hockey is the next sport to be at the Olympics?

Ew. Why did his muscles do that? Can we rewind? FREDDIE! DID YOU SEE HIS LATS? He needs Pilates. 

humming along with the song

Is that safe on her knee? Oh no, no, no. That is not safe. She needs Pilates. 

Haha, Aly Raisman's parents are hilariously ridiculo...omgomgomgomg girl, do not scare me like that you when you land. Stick that shiz. 

I'm definitely working out tomorrow. 

humming loudly along with the song

Why can't gymnasts learn how to slick back their hair and do a real bun? #balletforlife Chyeah, maybe I think in hashtags, mmkay?

But seriously, didn't people stop using those clips in their hair ten years ago? Maybe if I keep critiquing their hair then no one will notice I've accomplished nothing with my life.

Oh my gosh, I've accomplished nothing with my life. 

SIMONE!

Aliya Mustafina....or MUFASA?

Oh yes, yes yes. Synchronized diving is my new favorite sport. 

Oh yes, yes, yes. Gymnastics is my favorite sport.

Oh yes, yes, yes. Kayaking in my new favorite sport. 

singing loud, made up lyrics with the song

It's also the time of year where I like to think I'm being very original by claiming that everything is an Olympic sport, and every time we win the gold. Example A: Olympic gold medalist wine drinkers! Cheers! Example B: Olympic gold medalist trash chuters. He shoots, no CHUTES, he scores! Example C: No, but really. Olympic gold medalist wine drinkers! Cheers!

Happy Friday!
May you be the gold medal winner of everything you do this weekend. Cheers!